I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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