Jerry, you need to find god
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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