Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
