She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
