I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
