The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
