I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
