thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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