I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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