We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i will never coherently bang her
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
