Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
