tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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