i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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