yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
