You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
