I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
