don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
