what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
