It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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