She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
