I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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