Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
