somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
