You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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