One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
