Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
