i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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