He is such a slut. More and more my type.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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