he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
