I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
