so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize