We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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