Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
