Tell her she can't have a vagina
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize