you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
