they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize