I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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