I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
