Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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