You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
