Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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