I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
