dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
