I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
