How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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