So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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