Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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