the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize