"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
