Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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