Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
me + whiskey = a bad person
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
