My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
