we're blogging at a bar
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
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