I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
