Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
