Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sext me about skeletons
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
