Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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