We won't sleep together?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
