they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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