Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
