Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
