yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
